I See What He Wants Me to See

Here's a story that I referred to earlier as "God playing the perception card." (I love this story!)

I was a single mom. I worked hard to try to care for my children. I had no help from their father. I was very bitter. As a Christian, I knew I needed to forgive the man. And I tried, but I never could manage it. Any reminder of him brought the angry ranting, whether spoken or silent. Then I'd be convicted on forgiveness and I'd pray and I'd try again. I never managed it.

When my son married, his father was there. At the reception I looked at him, at his face covered with liver spots, at all the aging that a party-hard life leaves behind. And I looked at my two beloved granddaughters--children who delivered great joy--children he had never met until this day. I looked at my daughter and my son; he'd missed it all. He'd missed all the fun and laughter and blessing in raising these wonderful people.

I looked again at his face ravaged by aging--those liver spots--and I felt sorry for him. I didn't hate him anymore. I wasn't angry that he hadn't helped. He'd missed all the delight. Poor man. Poor, poor man. I felt sorry for him. And I didn't even have to try to forgive him. He'd already paid the heavy price.

After the reception I was talking to my oldest friend and telling her how God had finally enabled me to forgive the man. I told her what I had understood and mentioned how aged he was and his liver spotted face.

"Liver spots?" she asked. "What liver spots?"

"The ones all over his face."

"He didn't have any liver spots. He looked as good as he always has."

I didn't argue with her very long, she was pretty firm in what she had seen.

So I went to my daughter. "Did you see how bad your dad looked? So old, and all those liver spots."

"What are you talking about. He doesn't have any liver spots and he didn't look old at all."

Oookaaay. I tried a few other people. Same story whoever I asked.

All right. God played a trick on me. Only I saw the liver spots. They weren't there at all. The only place they existed was in my perception. Pretty smart, Lord.

Thank You for delivering me from hatred and bitterness. Thank You for doing whatever You needed to do to free me. I could forgive so I could be forgiven.

AMEN!